ctmi christian testimonies

I’ve often thought: ‘I’ve no idea where I would be today, if the Lord had not led me to go and spend some time in Mauritius.’ The reality is that I have a pretty good idea… I would be dead, or in prison!

As a youngster, I followed my parents to church. It’s quite ironic that it was in the Durban-Westville area, where Grace Gospel Church, led by Basil O’Connell-Jones is the pastor… Where sin abounded, grace abounded all the more. Once in my teens, I began to rebel and drifted away for all ‘church’ things, because there was nothing that I identified with there. Yet, I always knew that I was searching for something real. For some years, I was a gangster running around the city, involved in drugs, alcohol, violence, burglary, and other crimes. It seemed great fun at the time. But even in the midst of all this senseless behaviour, my heart was yearning for the Truth; and seeing no evidence of that in the churches I had visited, I turned to Satan as he appeared more real to me. Through a meeting with a girl, my life soon drifted into dabbling with evil spirits and total debauchery. Out of this union, I became a father of a baby boy.

In my continuing search, I visited churches, but all I could feel was condemned because of rules and laws that I could never live up to. That was when I finally gave up on God, and decided to ignore Him altogether. Getting involved in the dance club scene only accelerated my spiral into satanic music, drug dealing and being high all the time. It wasn’t long before I started believing that all my friends wanted to kill me. At the age of 20, I found myself in court fighting about access to my son, dealing with an out of control drug addiction. As I had a British passport, I decided to leave it all behind to go to a ‘better life’ with all my South African friends already there.

All I had to show after and incredible first year of partying in the UK, was that I was now a full heroin junkie. I had met up with my sister and her husband, and all we did was related to our next fix. We did also try to come off the heroin, but failed abysmally. I even tried turning back to God, but He did not seem to be listening. I felt lost in dark depths of Hell! In this state, taking advantage of those around me had become a way of life. I saw nothing wrong in using people and destroying them and relationships. Through it all, I tried hundreds of times to come off the heroin by entering rehab clinics, etc. All I could see ahead of me was death, with no possibility of escape.

One morning, naked and lying in my own vomit, after a second sleepless night, I cried out to God, “Please, if your are there…” I tried to go to church again, but all I saw was hypocrisy, plastic, fake Sunday Christians telling me to stop doing this and start doing that. I was defeated before I even began. By this point, I had stolen everything I could; blackmailed and manipulated everyone I knew. Deep in debt to a drug syndicate, I decided to sell myself to them; they could use me for anything, as long as I could get my fix.

Unbeknownst to me, a lady had approached my Dad in Botswana, and told him, “You need to bring your son here with you.” Knowing my state, and what had happened in the past when he had tried to help, he didn’t do anything, until I called him to say goodbye; that I was going to give my life over the drug lords in Durban. He sent me some money and came down immediately to see me. Somewhere in my heart, I knew why he was coming. Having been put into different rehab clinics in the past, I prepared my girlfriend for the separation I felt was going to happen. Deep down, I realised that this was my final opportunity to get well. I recall my Dad crying when I didn’t argue and agreed to go back with him. He must have been so surprised… (to be continued)