ctmi christian testimonies

This preacher with a strange accent said only God could change me!

There wasn’t really a plan, it was more of a ‘trial and error’ situation as nothing had worked before. We both knew and felt it was the right thing. I began a detox program, started going to gym, and seeing a psychiatrist. It all seemed to be working out. The plan started off well; I don’t know why, but it did. I started going to gym and became a bit of a health fanatic.

What struck me most in those early days in Botswana, were all my Dad’s friends. They seemed to accept me as I was… bad habits, foul language, sullen attitude, and all. They seemed strange, because they were always thanking God for everything, and appeared to be genuinely living lives dedicated to Him. Also, no one tried to ‘push’ God onto me, as I had experienced every time I had been to a church. They just let me be myself, and their lives spoke so much louder than words. Here was a group of people totally sold out on Jesus Christ, who practised what they preached. Could it be that I had finally found some true Christians?

So, there I was, getting well, having it all under control. It all seemed so easy, until I went back to Durban for a 3-week holiday. Within hours of my arrival and linking up with my girlfriend, we were high on heroin and I spent the whole time stoned. It was then that I realised that nothing had changed; I wasn’t cured at all. I was only clean in Botswana only because there were no drugs there.

One Sunday morning, I was up early, and for some reason, I told my father I wanted to come with him to church. I wasn’t expecting, nor did I desire, anything. I was just bored and didn’t want to be home alone with my own thoughts. I walked into an empty hall, and was told that most of the congregation were all at a conference on some island somewhere. I was very happy that no one came up to ask me anything. As the pastor was also away, they put on a DVD recording from a program shown on TBN of a preacher called Miki Hardy. As this man began speaking, my heart just softened and I started drinking in everything he was saying. All I heard was that Jesus loved me just the way I am. He had chosen me like I am, with all my problems and issues. He had done everything for me on the cross, saving me and, in His eyes, I had been cleansed of all my sins. Probably the most profound thing I heard was that I was weak, and in my own strength I can do nothing (every other church told me I needed to change). But here was this preacher with a strange accent declaring that only God could change me!

My heart exploded. My soul cried out saying, “Yes, it’s true! I am weak, I am lost in my sin; I am hopeless in my own strength!” I had finally found what I was looking for – the truth of Jesus Christ and what he had done on the cross for me. Everything for my life had already been accomplished on that cross. At that point, I was completely broken because I knew that my life was the result of my own decisions, but now, Jesus was there to pick me up from the mire and set me free. Being the proud, self-sufficient young man I was, I kept all this to myself.

But to everyone’s amazement, I started attending all the meetings. I began seeking God, saying to Him, “God, if this is true then I will give my life to you!” I remember when a pastor visited from Zimbabwe, I managed to spend time with him and told him my whole story. He told me about Mauritius and Eglise Chrétienne, a church where the people tried to live lives totally given to Christ; where they do not compromise their walk with the Lord. He asked me, whether I would consider going to spend some time there. I asked him why he believed this was important? His reply was that I was so young in the Lord, and had such strong desires for things of the world. The church in Gaborone was small and could not give me the care that I needed at this time… to establish a strong and deeper foundation in my life. He was very adamant that I must seek the Lord’s will about this important decision, that I should see what my Father thought of the idea. In the end, the decision would have to be mine, because with my past, I could not expect healing and restoration if I chose to do something that I did not really want to do under compulsion. I knew it was true that I was not free of drugs, and that I could fall at anytime. Deep down, I felt at peace that this was the right thing to do; and. after a time of prayer, I went off, flying into the unknown!